Archive | September, 2009

Paranoid

25 Sep

>Boredom is killing me. I am in a 2-week leave because of health issues again. I just want to be better soon and get back to work.

I have lotsa health tests to go through. Doplar, ECG, and Lumbar therapy sessions. I even don’t know what my health condition is, but I am not dying definitely!

I am just a bit disappointed of how things are now. This effing back has been an issue since April. I can’t work right, I can’t sleep, and worse is- I become the no.1 paranoid sick person on top of the world… I “wikipedia”, “google”, “yahoo”, these health problems to see other options…. DR. QUACK QUACK.

To be continued..

The Best Sandwich You Can Make,

9 Sep

>
They say that the last decision we make in life is ours. BUT what if you consider the people who are part of your daily life, who may get affected because of the decision. I think it’s just a matter of choosing what to love-to stand what your point view is, or to take to the risks and just don’t mind how these people will feel… BUT what if they become so dear to your heart? So close that you can think of missing a day without them?

I have been sick lately, and it has been an issue since April (I am used to it btw, wan people do know where there health stands). Being sickly doesn’t have to mean running away from your responsibilities in life, it doesn’t give you a justification to stop doing things the way you are expected to, but it definitely gives you the reason to strive and be the best you can be despite of this blemish you have. No one ever wants to get sick, and I definitely don’t like to be different from the others because of this weak spot.

What I do to show them that I CAN do whatever others do- is to show them that I can still perform as how a normal person does. I may lack on some things, but the mere fact that I try my best in all that I can… doesn’t give anyone ELSE the right to question my effort, IF IT DOESN’T GIVE AN EXCUSE, IT ALSO DOESN’T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO QUESTION THINGS, especially if I know that I am standing with my best foot forward.

Weaknesses are normal, no one is perfect as the quote says. BUT weaknesses are definitely workable, especially if you are willing to work and learn the “hows” to get rid off them and offset them with your abilities and capabilities. The first thing that we need to have is an inspiration, someone who doesn’t judge you for what you can do and for what you cannot; someone who still sees the best in you even if you suck; someone who believes that what you’re doing is justifiable even if you know it’s punishable; someone who defends you even if you’re not worth his/her defend; and especially someone who believes that you will become the best even if it takes a century before it gets fulfilled- in short, someone who’s willing to trust you even if you’re not trustworthy… true?? right?

What the hell am I saying? whhhheewww,,,

I just feel sad that my strengths are getting nowhere, it sucks when you know that you’re not what you think you are. I feel upset that my strengths are just like soap suds… beautifully floating on the water but get drowned by the scary waves after your eyes get the beauty out of ’em. Some time people just get to appreciate your deeds in just a 1, 2, 3, and after that, you’re are no longer a “someone” to them, it just breaks my heart that my strengths are seen as NOTHING. 😦

I also have to learn that THE TRUTH HURTS. I really don’t care how real that truth is, I really don’t care how painful the hurt is, what I care most is how you say things to me, how you make me understand things, and how you help me grasp these weaknesses.

I am very open to changes, and I am willing to unlearn things that are not necessary, but all I need is the security that I have the “I BELIVE IN YOU JAM, LIKE I ALWAYS DO” with me. You can share with me the things you know will help me be the “better” I can be, but my only favor is- share it with a touch of concern, trust, or YOU CAN EVEN crack a joke before, in the middle, or even after, the conversation, it will definitely set the mood, and make me feel that you’re upset on how I work with things nowadays, but VERY HAPPY that I didn’t miss the STRENGTHS I always bring with me.

A criticism would be a delicious spread between two crispy compliments. It’s how you do the sandwich effect. 🙂
INGREDIENTS:

  • Baked and crispy slices of compliments
  • Delicious and spicy Criticism spread
  • that’s all. 🙂
  • Go figure what I mean.

You are welcome to leave your comment.

Jollibee makes my morning :)

4 Sep

>Good morning world!

Most “blog addicts” blog before the day ends, but in my case- someone who works at night and sleeps at day time is definitely the other way around… 🙂 So GOOD MORNING AGAIN! 🙂

My morning is not sunny but happy though.. 🙂 I had a heavy meal at Jollibee (again..), it was so salap.

Excuse my mood

2 Sep

>

Good evening world??? Am I greeting you all or questioning?? Idk… hayyy (what’s good about it if I always get sick… excuse my upset mode)!

I love BER season, because it is the first sign that we all come up with while we wait for Christmas. On the other hand, I find it annoying when this BER season… for me or should I say for some means MORE health issues.

During this season, the nights are colder and the days are humid. These changes in weather can trigger my bronchial and skin asthma, which is not strange. I just hate the fact that I have no choice but to bear it and make a few adjustments on my work schedule, what I eat, and whatchamacallit.

Two days ago, I had an asthma attack which was triggered by the weather and the stress I felt the whole day. I only had two choices; 1) skip work; or 2) die. (go figure what choice I made).

The following day was still hard for me, I held every breath I could and saved it for the next second. (for those who don’t have asthma, good for y’all.. let me just picture how it feels… it’s like you have 10 seconds to say everything you want to say, then goodbye world after, you have to breathe through your mouth alone to make your lungs lighter… which is very hard). So what I did was to swap my Sunday OFF to my yesterday’s schedule… too bad.

Tonight’s the time to say bu-bye to my asthma, however, this effing back is really mad at me and the pain wants me dead… hhhhhayyyy! (excuse my mood again… please). I can’t hardly move my thighs and my back feels numbs.. I am really wondering what the heck this back problem is…(I am done with the therapy sessions and all, but not with the follow-up check-ups yet ooopppps). This isn’t funny at all…

I’ll see my doctor soon and get over his effing condition. hhhhayyy!

Thanks I have my blog.. my blog to vent all this out.

-the sour strawberry jam 😦