Archive | July, 2010

We’ve Only Just Begun

8 Jul


My previous relationship lasted for 7 years. A lot of things happened, good and bad ones. Our break-up was not that painful, why because I knew that I did all my best to save the relationship, and he was not worth-it… Not at all! What broke my heart was the time I lost my baby… it tore me completely and I knew that that was one of God’s ways of getting me out of that one-way rel’ship. The moving-on-stage was fast and easy (Thank God!).
My single life taught me a lot. It gave me an opportunity to know myself better; it gave me lovely memories spent with my family, friends, colleagues, and myself; it opened a doorway to God- who never fails to bring me up with Him all the time. My 3 years of being single life were incredible! Thank you Lord for giving me the strength to surpass all those trials, and I was and am surrounded by wonderful people who are God’s gifts!:)
I met different men, some were really nice, and patient on trying to win my heart for a rel’ship. While in courtship, I crossed my fingers and asked for signs. (I always believe that God has plans for my love story, and He makes use of Fate). I prayed for his guidance.
There was this man whom I almost fell for, but when I started getting to know him better, I realized that all I could really offer was friendship, no more.. no less! I fell for him.. but as a friend or sister.
My single life journeyed. I met different people from common friends, from work, and whatnot. I was open-minded with ideas of meeting different people for friendship but not to jump into a relationship.. (I always believe that there is a perfect time for everything…). I was introduced to different people who became my good friends. Some liked me, and I liked some too but that didn’t serve me enough reasons to pursue a commitment with them. My signs were hiding during those times.. I must say!:)
My world went on and met Jonard B. Josef along the way. Our first meeting was when I got back from my LOA on April 5, 2010. I joined his tranche for the Product Training. We became good friends with the rest of our tranchemates. We had group parties, shared stories, etc. After our first inuman with the whole class, he started teasing me and calling me “Baby ko..” and “ate shawi”… I didn’t mind and even teased him back “kiko matsing” :) The asaran went on and our tranchemates and trainers became part of it. No awkward moments for me because I never get pikon naman with jokes like that… though I felt a bit shy when they started teasing us about us being bagay and all that highschool stuff (I miss those times..) ü
I remember.. Jonard would even say say things na I would just laughed about. Like when he asked me out to watch Iron Man 2, I thought he was just joking so I laughed and didn’t mind what he said… And many more..:))
One time, I was standing in front of our training room to wait for the prior class to end. I didn’t notice that he was also there with some of our tranchemates waiting too. He handed me a brown bag with a burger in it… I thanked him and smiled at him. That was the time I noticed his sweetness. 2 days after that, I gave him m&m’s peanuts as my way of thanking him.
We started exchanging text messages. I already knew that I was already quite liking him. I always looked for our daily shift just to see him..(heartbeat).
First week of May, I went to Hong Kong with my family. That was the time he got sick, I was so worried about him and I couldn’t do anything. He got well after a couple of days (Thank God!). We were texting and didn’t mind how much the roaming service cost… what amazed me was– I started missing him, and I kept telling stories about him to my dad. Unbelievable but that was real!:)
On May 5, I was still at HK, he sent me a text message, asking when would I go back. He also asked me if we could go out and hear that week’s Sunday mass. That was one of my signs… I just smiled and said YES!!:))
I went home on May 8, and we heard May 9′s mass. He gave me flowers and I gave him the shirt I bought in HK. :) I consider it as our first date!:)
More happy memories followed. We went out several times together and at times with our friends. We enjoyed watching movies…dinner, coffee, and just sharing our lives’ stories with each other.
On June 12, his Dad died. I wanted to be just beside him and comfort him. I just want to hug him tight until he gets better. That was the time I caught myself falling for him. I felt that what he was going through was important to me too. I even wanted to get some of the worries he has at that time. We went to his place to attend his dad’s wake… that was also the time I found out that he was still committed with his 6-year long rel’ship (technically speaking..they didn’t have a formal break-up pa kasi at that time). I got the confirmation from my heart that I was already falling in love with him because my heart broke when I heard it from him. I just managed my feelings and composed myself, I knew that wasn’t the right time to talk about it, and second, we were not in a rel’ship at that time, so he needed not to explain. The following day was different, I didn’t send him a text message all day. I wanted to condition myself that what we had at the time should stop. I attended the mass for that day, prayed hard and asked for His guidance. That was the first time I cried because of him, also the first time that I cried for someone who’s not even my boyfriend. That night, as I helped myself sleep, I saw his Twitter post “Don’t change”, I knew it was for me. I cried silently, because I didn’t want to change, all I wanted was to take care of this special person who’s very important to me. We started texting that night, he was forcing me to tell things and why I was so different that day…I still managed to keep quiet and wanted to wait for the right time, but he felt upset about it so I had no choice but to tell him everything that was bothering me. We were able to talk things over. He said that I have to trust him on this, that he would settle things. My concern was- If I was the primary reason for their break-up because that was something I wouldn’t allow to happen. He said no…and I believed him (i will always believe in him… that’s for certain).
On June 16, 2010, we went out for a dinner. We went to Dencio’s and had a luscious time together. We were talking about many things, about how his family was coping after his died, about my SG plans, and a few inserts about us. He then told me that he would ask me one thing after our dinner, I got very nervous and my heart tomped double time. We stood up and I excused myself. I went to the Comfort Room for no reason… yes for NO REASON, I just locked myself inside the cubicle, felt my chest and heard my heartbeat pumping fast, I prayed silently. My hands were cold like ice, I held them together, got a deep breath, and went out from the Rest Room. I was expecting to see him in front of the doorway, but found him standing behind the plants where the dark corner of the entire location was. I walked through that corner and was really amazed with it… I found the place very romantic, with just the spotlight beaming against our faces.. I loved it! :) I leaned towards the terrace and he then he wrapped arms his around me. He started giving me clues about what he was going to say…I was jus silent to make sure that I was getting all he was saying…what he said was the beginning of the new chapter of our lives, what he said was the start of our new life together … “mahal na kasi kita”, that was the exact words he said, I was speechless and didn’t answer back right away. I savored the moment for a little while and asked him questions like “kailan pa, etc”. I answered back “mahal din kita Josef”.. and that marked the night!Ü We agreed on one thing, to keep our relationship discreet. Our first kiss happened after, the sweetest first kiss!
About his previous rel’ship, they already talked about it, and it was all up to them. :)
My family already knows about our relationship, and I am happy that I got their blessing. Some of our friends are also aware of it. Eventually, most of our loved ones will get a hold of this good news, it’s just that we have to consider lotsa things. His family is not aware of this yet, but I respect it soooo much. (Jon just ended a rel’ship that lasted for 6 years… that is!)ü
I have fears but I am taking all the chances with him. I know that love tests and obstacles are just around the corner. Love is not all about a bed of roses, it’s also about thorns that make a relationship stronger. We have differences, but it’s a matter of accepting each other’s world. I know that I have a lot to learn about him.. I am learning new things about this special and important man in my life, and I am loving everything. I don’t care what he is and what he is not… I don’t need a reason or two to be in love with him.
We’ve barely known each other, but it’s like I’ve known him forever

Makes Sense

8 Jul

>”life gets complicated when you don’t accept that life itself changes, and when all you do is look back.. Move forward and meet what your new life offers you-> new obstacles, new expectations, new relationship, etc. After meeting them, try your best not to make the old mistakes, be happy, and make sure that these NEW bits of your new life lasts a lifetime even after changes…” In short: always move forward, learn from your past, and never look back..:) makes sense!!:))